Dishonest isn’t okay, and will by no means be justified. Similar to some individuals provide you with hundreds of thousands of causes behind their dishonest on their companions, there are lots of individuals on the market who’ve many causes to not cheat.
On the day earlier than their first anniversary, Ellis and Emma took a romantic rowboat experience in the midst of a close-by lake. Emma, enamored by the encircling magnificence, reached for Ellis’ cellphone to take a photograph. As an alternative of his routine response, which might have been none in any respect, he froze, tightly clenching his fingers round his cellphone.
Emma, perplexed, at first thought Ellis was enjoying some type of recreation or had a romantic shock, guarding his cellphone in order to not reveal it. However, studying Ellis’ frozen expression, one in all combined fear and shock, Emma knew that wasn’t the case. After seconds that felt like hours, Ellis gave over his cellphone, crammed with texts to a different girl. It appeared as if the person Emma cherished was somebody she didn’t know in any respect.
Dishonest is just not a novel phenomenon and accounts much like the one written above is nothing new. In reality, it’s estimated that one in each three males and one in each 5 ladies in America will have interaction in an extramarital affair not less than as soon as of their lifetime.
Whereas these staggering statistics counsel infidelity is commonplace, and the explanations to cheat are a lot, current analysis tried to find a query hardly ever requested: Why don’t individuals cheat?
Over a course of two research, analysis revealed in Character and Particular person Variations sought to find the elements that stop individuals from dishonest on their romantic companions.
Within the first examine, 40 voluntary contributors, with a imply age of 31, took half in 30-minute semi-structured interviews the place they had been requested why they don’t cheat, haven’t but cheated, and wouldn’t cheat, adopted up by probing questions and open-ended questionnaires centered on the identical themes.
The info gleaned by way of the interviews and questionnaires had been then coded, permitting the researchers to establish 46 causes that deterred individuals from dishonest, which they’ve organized below 8 broad classes.
46 Causes To Not Cheat In Relationships
Broad Class: I’m glad with my relationship
- My associate treats me nicely
- I get many advantages from my relationship which I don’t wish to lose
- I don’t wish to destroy my relationship
- I respect my associate
- I don’t wish to betray my associate
- I’m having a superb time with my associate
- My associate doesn’t deserve one thing like this
- I don’t wish to damage my associate
- I really like my associate
Broad Class: Social stigma
- I fear about what individuals would suppose if this will get out
- I fear about being socially stigmatized
- I’d not like individuals to understand it
- I concern the reactions of my associate’s buddies if this will get out
Broad Class: Really feel ashamed if it will get out
- I’d really feel ashamed if it will get out
- Doing so is just not appropriate with my non secular beliefs
Broad Class: Really feel responsible
- I’d not really feel OK with myself
- I can not proceed my life feeling responsible
- I’d really feel responsible
- I don’t contemplate it proper
- I don’t contemplate it moral
- I’d really feel ashamed
- I don’t like a double life
- I don’t wish to betray my associate’s confidence
- I’m monogamous
- I respect myself
- I don’t wish to lie
- This motion can damage lots of people
Broad Class: Haven’t been provoked
- My associate has not provoked me
- I contemplate that my relationship has potential
- I concern that I’ll take pleasure in it, and I might be tempted to do it once more
- Haven’t met somebody engaging sufficient to do it
Broad Class: Concern of my associate’s response
- Concern of my associate’s response if she/he finds out
- Concern that my associate will discover out
- If I had youngsters with my associate
- Concern that my associate will react violently
Associated: Avoiding Temptation: How To not Cheat
Broad Class: I don’t wish to get in bother
- I concern that I’ll confess it to my associate
- I by no means had the possibility
- I concern the response of my associate’s mother and father in the event that they discover out
- I concern that I’ll remorse it
- I fear concerning the consequence that one thing like this will likely have
- My buddies advising me to not do it
- My mother and father advising me to not do it
- I concern that I’ll get a sexually transmitted illness
Broad Class: Concern that it’ll occur to me
- I’d not like one thing like this to occur to me
- I concern that my associate will do the identical
A second examine, through which 576 contributors with a imply age of 33 years took half, had been requested to charge on a five-point Likert scale how probably the 46 causes above could be to discourage dishonest. They had been additionally given character measures, utilizing the Massive-5 Stock.
In sum, the researchers discovered ladies could be much less more likely to cheat on their associate, particularly in the event that they had been glad with their relationship, and likewise as a result of they might be extra more likely to really feel responsible. When it comes to character, those that had been almost certainly to cheat scored excessive in openness, whereas those that had been least more likely to cheat scored excessive in conscientiousness.
Notice: The analysis article referenced notes 47 causes got, nevertheless solely a complete of 46 (these listed above) had been included within the publication.
Need to know extra concerning the causes to not cheat? Verify this video out under!
Apostolou, M., & Panayiotou, R. (2019). The explanations that stop individuals from dishonest on their companions: An evolutionary account of the propensity to not cheat. Character and Particular person Variations, 146, 34-40.
Written By Mariana Bockarova Ph.D. Initially Appeared On Psychology Immediately