13 Indicators You are A Submissive Lady In Your Relationship 

Ought to girls be submissive?

It relies on who you ask. 

Some folks imagine females are the so-called “second intercourse” and will demur to males.

Others discover a lady being submissive as nice as a dust pie.

Immediately, we’re breaking down the indicators {that a} relationship is unbalanced and exploring whether or not girls ought to be submissive. 

So pull up a display, seize your favourite drinks, and let’s do that collectively.

What Is a Submissive Lady and What Is An Instance of Being Submissive?

Submissive is a loaded phrase. In some situations, it’s a constructive; in others, under no circumstances. So being known as a submissive spouse is usually a praise or dig, relying on who’s saying it and why.

Definitionally, “submissive” means “prepared to adapt to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive.” Wives who welcome the label are likely to share sure beliefs, together with:

  • Religiosity: Most submissive girls are very spiritual.
  • Hierarchical Reverence: Females who defer to their male companions often have reverence for hierarchical frameworks.
  • Complementarianism: Submissive girls are likely to imagine that women and men have “pure” spheres of affect they need to honor.

How do submissive girls act? Once more, each particular person and relationship is totally different. Nevertheless, customary behaviors embody:

  • By no means disagreeing with their husband in public or in entrance of the youngsters
  • Not pursuing a profession exterior of the house
  • Speaking very softly
  • By no means making robust selections 
  • Conforming with all the things their husband prefers

Is Being a Submissive Spouse or Associate Dangerous?

Whether or not or not being a submissive spouse or accomplice is dangerous or good relies on your worldview and socio-cultural realities.

Sadly, many ladies nonetheless stay in international locations the place they’ll legally be jailed, abused, and even murdered for not dwelling their lives as second-class residents. 

However some girls willingly undertake the approach to life, or they’re raised in communities the place they by no means study there’s an alternative choice. So what are the professionals and cons?

Execs of being a submissive spouse embody:

  • Not having to fret about making huge selections, which may be stress-relieving in some situations
  • Residing a faith-based life-style that affirms your perception system

Cons of being a submissive spouse embody:

  • Relinquishing your private company
  • Giving up any semblance of independence
  • Signing away your proper to make vital selections
  • Surrendering the power to make your individual cash
  • Waiving the precise to show your feelings freely

13 Indicators You’re A Submissive Lady In Your Relationship 

Notably, a number of indicators that you just’re a submissive spouse are just like indicators you’re in a poisonous or mentally abusive relationship.

No, not all submissive wives are depressing and abused.

Some adore it, and that’s fantastic for them. However in case you’re on the fence and one thing doesn’t really feel proper, let’s overview some indicators chances are you’ll be caught in a submissive position. 

1. He At all times Comes First

Regardless that “conventional” or “biblical” households declare to be centered on child-rearing, many males in these relationships count on their wives to prioritize them over their children. And, in fact, his needs all the time trump yours.

Females who imagine that males are superior to girls could also be okay with this on the floor however, in observe, discover it suffocating. The issue submissive wives face is that they don’t have any outlet to specific their frustration with the scenario.

2. You Serve Him

Not solely do submissive wives must put their companions above everybody else, however in addition they must serve them unconditionally.

Usually, girls who conform to authoritarian relationships should put apart their wants and prioritize their husbands.  

Some husbands are respectful and don’t make the most of this expectation; others don’t.

3. You Can not Say “No” To Intimacy

A accomplice who expects you to be sexually compliant always doesn’t perceive the parameters of a wholesome relationship. Everyone seems to be the grasp of their very own physique — together with you! If you wish to be bodily along with your husband, godspeed. But it surely’s additionally positive in case you don’t.

couple having a discussion in the kitchen what is a submissive woman

Furthermore, please perceive that marital rape is rape, and it’s unlawful. You’ve a proper to say, “No!” Abuse is rarely acceptable.

For those who’re in a problematic relationship, take into account contacting both the Nationwide Rape Hotline or Nationwide Home Violence Hotline. 

4. He Screens You 24/7

Did he set up a tracker in your cellphone? Does he query you if you go someplace that wasn’t cleared beforehand? Do you’re feeling trapped due to it?

You’re doubtless a submissive spouse in case you answered sure to any of these questions. For those who answered within the affirmative to all three, you undoubtedly are.

5. He Has Closing Approval on Your Buddies

Do you’ve got company in your relationships, or does your husband have the ultimate say on who you’ll be able to and can’t befriend?

It’s positive in case your accomplice has opinions about your pals. That’s completely regular. However dictating who you’ll be able to and can’t spend time with is an issue.

You’re a person with company, and the selection of companionship is your choice.

(Notice: We’re not speaking about instances wherein your partner is making an attempt that will help you overcome an dependancy and needs to maintain you away out of your “vice mates.”)

6. He Strongly Influences Your Wardrobe

Is your wardrobe a mirrored image of his tastes and preferences or yours? If he controls what you put on, that’s not an excellent signal and alerts that you could be be a submissive spouse.

That mentioned, in case you ask somebody for his or her opinion, it’s unfair to get mad in case you don’t prefer it.

7. He Cuts You Off From Buddies and Household

Cult leaders are expert at reducing folks off from family and friends — and so are abusive husbands. Isolation makes folks simpler to govern and hurt, and that’s exactly why they do it.

This habits isn’t trivial. As an alternative, it’s a big crimson flag that ought to be heeded.

8. He Doesn’t Help Your Targets Exterior of Home Duties

Do you’ve got goals to your life aside from fireplace and residential? How does your husband really feel about them? Does he know you harbor such aspirations?

And if that’s the case, does he encourage you to pursue them and help your efforts? If the reply isn’t any, you’re in all probability a submissive spouse.

Extra Associated Articles

Does Your Husband Yell At You? Right here’s Why and 15 Actions You Can Take To Cease It

19 Alpha Feminine Traits

17 Heartbreaking Indicators Your Husband Hates You

9. You Have Desires You Don’t Foster

You take pleasure in many elements of being a stay-at-home mom or adhering to a standard relationship — however you even have goals, pursuits, and passions exterior that framework.

What do you do with these? Are you able to pursue them, or does your husband make it troublesome? Is he joyful about your wins or dismissive of your achievements?

If he isn’t enthusiastic about your tasks, does his lack of funding upset you? In that case, you’re doubtless enjoying a submissive position within the relationship.

10. You’re Continually Asking for Permission

Independence is a trademark of wholesome, consenting grownup relationships. Girls in consenting partnerships shouldn’t have to ask permission to go about their lives.

woman talking to husband what is a submissive woman

If you end up in a relationship the place you’re always asking your husband if you are able to do this or that, it’s a reasonably clear signal that you just’re the submissive get together. 

11. He Belittles You

Some males in dominant-submissive relationships see nothing improper with belittling their companions — in private and non-private. He could also be emotionally invalidating or toss round passive-aggressive quips at your expense. 

Individuals in wholesome relationships often don’t behave this manner, so it might be an indication you’re in a skewed partnership.  

12. He Makes All Selections

One of many major options of a dominant-submissive pairing is that the “controlling” get together will get to make all the choices.

The place you eat, trip, and stay are all as much as him. The identical goes for what films you see, what events you attend, and the way a lot cash you’ll be able to spend.

Some girls desire to relinquish their decision-making rights, but it surely’s an indication that you just’re a submissive spouse.

13. He At all times Has the Final Phrase

Do the dynamics of your relationship require you to carry your tongue? Does your husband all the time get the proverbial conch final?

When your husband all the time will get the final phrase, your relationship dynamics doubtless give him extra energy within the partnership.

Submissive Lady Persona Traits 

Persona traits aren’t immutable or definitive. Simply because somebody is conventional doesn’t essentially imply they’re submissive, however almost all submissive girls are old-fashion. 

However, in fact, exceptions exist for each rule. With that caveat in place, let’s overview seven persona traits many acquiescent girls share. 


Meek individuals are tender, quiet, light, and simply imposed upon. There’s nothing improper with being this manner. In any case, we’re who we’re, and it’s a widespread trait of submissive girls.


Most girls in conventional pairings are conservative — to an orthodox diploma. Typically, they’re raised in extremely spiritual communities and select to proceed dwelling the approach to life as adults.

Different folks find yourself the submissive half of a coupling of their very own volition.

For those who had been reared in a conservative group and now end up sad in a submissive marriage, take into account re-evaluating your life-style and beliefs. Are they yours or a regurgitation of your father or mother’s views?  


Naturally, submissive individuals are typically service-oriented. They achieve a way of significance and satisfaction by serving to and serving others.

serving husband a breakfast in bed what is a submissive woman

For those who fall into this class, don’t neglect about your self. Carve out at the very least quarter-hour a day to do one thing you genuinely take pleasure in that’s only for you.


Sadly, submissive girls are additionally hyper-judgmental. They have an inclination to look down on females who don’t have related values. Typically, the criticism is real; different instances, it’s born out of jealousy. 

Whichever the case, being overly vital is horrible to your psychological and bodily well being, and curbing that tendency is a purpose value pursuing.


Submissive girls revere hierarchies and, as such, are usually status-oriented. In any case, “pecking orders” are the spine of social dominance frameworks.


Individuals who desire to trip shotgun of their relationships are often extra compliant than those that should not. They want guidelines to construction their lives and may develop very uncomfortable when others break them. 

Toxically Optimistic

Poisonous positivity is the idea that individuals ought to preserve a constructive outlook and outward look irrespective of how hurtful, dire, or difficult the scenario.

Submissive girls typically really feel the necessity to preserve a cheery facade, inflicting them to bury and ignore their feelings. Incessantly, this may result in intense psychological well being hurdles.

How one can Cease Being a Submissive Feminine and Discover Your Energy 

Are you a submissive feminine who doesn’t wish to be? In that case, how will you determine and reclaim your energy?

  • Have a Speak: Earlier than you make any drastic strikes, speak along with your accomplice. There could also be an opportunity he doesn’t understand he’s being overbearing. Fixing the dynamic could also be as simple as enhancing your communication.
  • Develop Self-Esteem: In case your submissive standing is rooted in low shallowness, work to enhance your confidence. 
  • Re-Consider Your Perception System: Girls who’re submissive due to how they had been raised must dissect the values they had been reared on. Do they serve or stifle you?
  • Make New Buddies: Hunt down friendships with robust, highly effective girls. If that’s an impossibility, begin following a couple of on social media. The publicity could provide the confidence to extricate your self out of your scenario. 
  • Plan Your Exit: No rule says you could stay in an sad union. If the connection not serves you, make an exit plan. For those who’re in an unsafe scenario, attain out to organizations specializing in extracting girls from harmful males and communities.

Closing Ideas

Once more, in case you take pleasure in being a submissive spouse, nice. That’s your alternative. So long as you’re not being abused, hurting others, or forcing your perception system onto others, you’re free to stay your life as you see match. 

If, nonetheless, you’re in a relationship with skewed dynamics and don’t really feel fulfilled, it might be time to reassess your relationship and make some modifications.

You deserve happiness, and if being submissive doesn’t fill your satisfaction tank, make strikes to regain your energy.

What is a submissive woman, and how do you know you are one? Read this post and find out the signs you are a submissive woman.
I am Christian Nnakuzierem Alozie (Kris Kuzie Alozie). A native of Eziama Nneato in Umunneochi LGA, Abia State, Nigeria. I am an inspirational writer and a motivational speaker. And above all, a lover of charity.

Related Articles


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Latest Articles