I had an enchanting weekend of plant drugs journeying that concerned taking a number of totally different substances: kanna, white lily, psilocybin (mushrooms), and ayahuasca… largely the latter two. I had solely achieved ayahuasca earlier than (3 years in the past for 4 nights in a row in Costa Rica). I shared the insights from that earlier expertise right here: Classes From Ayahuasca. On this put up I’ll share my expertise of this latest journey whereas it’s nonetheless contemporary in thoughts and coronary heart. If you happen to’re quick on time and solely need to skim the insights as a substitute of studying the small print about what it was like, be at liberty to scroll right down to the part labeled “Insights.”
This was gentler than the aya experiences 3 years in the past – smaller portions however a really layered impact. It was exhausting to separate what results have been created by which substances. I acknowledged a few of the acquainted aya results just like the colourful, animating visuals after I closed my eyes, however the expertise additionally had parts that have been totally different, and all of it kind of blended collectively. This was the primary time I’ve achieved psilocybin, however I don’t know the way to separate out its results from all the things else.
In Costa Rica it was very a lot an inward journey, and we didn’t work together a lot with one another throughout the 4 nights of aya ceremonies, though we processed our experiences in group classes collectively every morning afterwards. For that have we drank aya tea, however this time we had some chewable edibles of psilocybin and aya blended collectively.
The Costa Rica expertise had about 40 individuals doing the ceremonies collectively, and I knew 12-15 of them of them beforehand. This time there have been simply 8 of us, 9 in the event you rely the facilitator. I a lot most popular the smaller group dimension, which made it really feel far more intimate and aligned.
This journey was a stunning and really loving social expertise with most of us all hanging out in the identical room collectively, sharing intimate tales, and having fun with tons of cuddling. I felt fully at dwelling with that type of vitality… so yummy. Cuddling with two ladies collectively is amongst my favourite issues in life, so even with out the substances, that might have put me within the bliss zone.
In Costa Rica, despite the fact that they suggested us to attempt to keep inside with the group vitality, that often felt too intense and chaotic to me – and too stifling with all of the smells. I most popular spending most of my time outdoors, strolling barefoot on the grass or mendacity on a hammock trying up on the moon and stars. I wanted the contemporary air, and it was so soothing to only be round vegetation and never in the midst of so many individuals.
However for this expertise, despite the fact that we have been welcome to spend time going off on our personal, I wished simply the alternative. I didn’t wander away to have any kind of solo expertise, akin to listening to music with headphones. I believe most different individuals did a little bit of solo processing sooner or later, maybe for at the least 20 minutes. I simply wished to revel within the presence of the individuals there, particularly being in bodily contact with them. Everybody was emanating such clean and loving vitality, and I simply wished to be immersed in that as a lot as doable. Even after we weren’t saying something, it was so peaceable and current.
It was a really holographic expertise too. I felt very delicate to the vitality of everybody within the room, like all of us merged collectively spiritually, nevertheless it didn’t really feel to this point out that I used to be misplaced in intense visuals. Solely two individuals needed to do a little bit of purging early on, and I felt noticeably higher once they did. Every little thing individuals shared appeared to attach energetically on some degree, usually eerily so, as if all of us had many parallel parts in our life tales.
It was additionally enjoyable conversing with individuals throughout the expertise. I keep in mind asking these questions:
- What do you would like individuals noticed in you that they usually don’t see?
- What’s one thing you’ve by no means shared publicly earlier than (that you simply’re keen to share right here… and assuming a cone of silence outdoors of this area)?
- What’s it like being a lady (to a few of the ladies within the group)?
It was enjoyable listening to individuals’s solutions as a result of generally they stored getting distracted and mentally wandering off in all kinds of instructions, however all of it was fascinating to me. It was wonderful how deeply and simply we floated by a wide range of significant matters, but in a largely chill and relaxed approach. There have been a whole lot of laughs alongside the way in which too.
Time appeared to move very slowly too. Once I noticed that it was 11pm, I mentioned, “Wow… it’s solely 11?” And when it was 1am, I felt prefer it ought to have been at the least 4am.
I keep in mind taking a look at some individuals closest to me whereas we talked and cuddled and seeing animated colours and patterns overlayed upon their faces. There have been some patches that seemed like glowing colours that shifted over time, and there have been animated trails of paisley-like patterns flowing round their faces too. It wasn’t tremendous intense, nevertheless it was stunning to have a look at. I’m wondering if that was only a hallucination impact or if it was some notion linked to perceiving individuals’s vitality fields – perhaps that’s only a matter of perspective.
We had the choice to eat one thing at evening to decelerate the consequences, and I believe everybody else ate (perhaps round midnight), however I wasn’t hungry, regardless of not having eaten something since midday. I wished to stay in a fasting state and permit the consequences to stay round longer. So I didn’t eat something until breakfast the following day.
As the consequences slowly started to dissipate, I stayed up until 3:30am immersed in dialog with a few individuals. Then as we lastly determined we must name it an evening, and I nonetheless wasn’t sleepy, I closed my eyes and loved the colourful animated visuals for about half-hour. I held totally different ideas in thoughts and noticed how they effected the patterns I noticed. I keep in mind testing ideas like: I really feel beloved, I really feel loving, and I’m love. Every of them created totally different patterns, with the “I’m love” sample being essentially the most colourful and animated.
I lastly fell asleep round 4am, and I wakened at 6am and felt wakeful. I remained on my again for one more hour, nonetheless having fun with a few of the lingering results and eventually received up round 7:00.
I did some journaling concerning the expertise, after which we had breakfast collectively and did a couple of hours of group processing.
I solely knew one good friend there initially (who invited me), however by the tip it felt like everybody was a detailed good friend. Most of us had mutual mates in widespread, so it was additionally like we have been a part of the identical social internet anyway.
This match properly with the intention to transcend earlier limits, which is our intention of the week for the Submersion Social Deep Dive that we’re at the moment doing. I wouldn’t say that the expertise itself was massively transformational – I’ll need to see what the long-term results are – however I actually loved journeying by a mind-expanding and heart-opening approach of connecting with individuals. A bunch of us need to keep in contact, and I’d like to have extra journeys like this, particularly with such open-minded, growth-oriented individuals.
One factor that was actually bizarre was that shortly earlier than heading over there, I realized that there’d be a cat in the home. I instantly thought, “Oh no,” since I’m allergic to cats. Certain sufficient, inside an hour after arriving (and earlier than we took something), my eyes started feeling watery, itchy, and puffy, and I figured I’d simply need to muddle by. I may deal with the pink and puffy eyes and runny nostril for twenty-four hours – it might be uncomfortable, however I’d be okay.
Nevertheless, to my shock because the substances beginning kicking in, the allergy signs disappeared fully. The cat came visiting to me a couple of occasions, and I may inform it was not going to be an issue. It was just like the plant drugs mentioned, “You don’t want that allergy proper now.” And I mentioned in response, “Sounds good to me!”
As I lied down on the sofa on the finish of the evening, the cat climbed on prime of me, licked my face, after which she camped out on my legs for some time. The allergic response solely began to mildly come again the following morning as all the things was sporting off, nevertheless it was nonetheless approach lower than earlier than.
I utilized one key lesson I realized from Costa Rica, which was to ask the substances to go simple on me bodily. Training good intentionality and belief is so necessary. Because the layers started kicking in, I felt flushed, received sweaty palms, and felt some gentle nausea and dizziness. My coronary heart charge went from 70 to 90 bpm. I remembered to inform the plant drugs: mild, mild, mild. I welcomed some psychological, emotional, and non secular depth, however I wished the bodily facet to be gentle and never really feel like my physique was resisting it or scared. And that appeared to assist. At the same time as I went to mattress, my coronary heart charge was nonetheless 85 whereas mendacity down, so it positively received the blood pumping a bit sooner. The principle bodily challenge all through the evening although was feeling very thirsty. I stored feeling parched with a dry mouth at the same time as I drank tons and plenty of water. That gave the impression to be a typical facet of the expertise.
One time after I went to the toilet and noticed myself within the mirror, I seemed very totally different to myself. I assumed… wow I look lots older, perhaps by 10 years. Is that actually what I appear like? I seen my grey hair round my sideburns and the crow’s ft on the perimeters of my eyes. And I noticed darkish circles beneath my eyes, despite the fact that I didn’t really feel sleepy. However then I noticed that I used to be seeing myself extra by my coronary heart than my thoughts. I noticed somebody who was very joyful, fulfilled, and smart – somebody who was more than happy along with his life journey and had built-in so many classes and experiences. The “me” within the mirror simply stored staring into my eyes and reflecting again a lot love, nevertheless it didn’t completely really feel like he was the “me” that I’m used to. It was like he was an older me or perhaps a deeper a part of me or maybe one other me from a unique dimension. I seemed again at him and held up my palms to him in a heart-shape, and naturally he did the identical. Then I noticed him smile even greater as if to say, “Maintain dwelling the way in which you’re dwelling and doing what you’re doing as a result of it’s excellent for you.” I haven’t felt that self-love has been a problem for me, and this expertise solely took a few minute, nevertheless it felt very highly effective and transferring, like I used to be receiving love from my larger self or non secular self or one thing like that.
I really feel like all of the Subjective Actuality observe makes these altered states simpler to ask, expertise, and movement with. It’s simply so fantastic to narrate to individuals – particularly individuals I simply met for the primary time – on the idea of co-creating stunning and harmonious experiences. And naturally plentiful cuddles.
I really feel like my love meter is crammed as much as 200% now.
After the expertise, I did some journaling about it the following morning and wished to see if I may give you an inventory of 10 insights from it. Right here’s what I wrote:
- Our vitality patterns pool and mix. What one particular person in a room experiences is a parallel expertise – energetically – for everybody current. Solely the small print differ. So aid for one creates aid for all. If you happen to assist to create ease for others, you create it for your self too, and vice versa.
- Cuddle area is very easy to enter when specializing in the enjoyment and peacefulness of it. It’s very simple to supply and settle for real invitations to the touch. It’s actually stunning to look after one another by contact.
- It’s an actual honor to get to know individuals behind the scenes when honesty is extra necessary than picture. Presenting a false or skewed picture to individuals prevents you from seeing them clearly as properly.
- Allergic reactions are simply vitality patterns, and vitality can change.
- Limits and constraints assist to sculpt our human experiences, giving some construction and railing to our tales. At the same time as we encounter limits in a single space of life, different areas stay open. Limits may help us really feel grounded to some certainty whereas we discover.
- The bags we feature could seem foolish to others, and it may be useful for us to see it as foolish too generally. Foolish behaviors are lighter and extra versatile than ones we take so significantly.
- A ravishing pathway to connection and intimacy is to be mild with individuals. Gentleness invitations openness and vitality movement. Gradual dancing could be simpler, but extra intimate, than quick dancing.
- A want that isn’t manifesting might be too skinny – too mono-dimensional. Add extra layers to it. Take a look at it from the 4D body-mind-heart-spirit angles, and see in the event you’re actually asking for the entire bundle of goodies.
- The extra shamelessly you possibly can discover life, the simpler it’s for all times to convey you harmoniously aligned experiences. You’ve gotten life’s permission to discover and expertise.
- Evolving as a human being has extra to do with _____ than with _____.
- concord, victory
- co-creation, success
- experiences, outcomes
- motion, place
- invitation, validation
- curiosity, conclusions
I’m actually glad I mentioned sure to this expertise as a result of now I get to cherish the reminiscence of it for a very long time. I’m grateful that I began getting these sorts of invites after I was prepared for them. I really feel very open to extra experiences like this.