Presence by Amy Cuddy : E book Abstract


Presence_by_Amy_Cuddy

Presence

Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Greatest Challenges

by Amy Cuddy

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In describing the that means of presence, writer Amy Cuddy writes, “The analysis I’ve been doing for years now joins a big physique of inquiry into a top quality I name presence. Presence stems from believing in and trusting your self—your actual, sincere emotions, values, and skills. That’s necessary, as a result of if you happen to don’t belief your self, how can others belief you? Whether or not we’re speaking in entrance of two individuals or 5 thousand, interviewing for a job, negotiating for a increase, or pitching a enterprise concept to potential buyers, talking up for ourselves or talking up for another person, all of us face daunting moments that should be met with poise if we would like to be ok with ourselves and make progress in our lives. Presence offers us the ability to rise to those moments.” —From Presence by Amy Cuddy

Amy Cuddy is finest recognized for having delivered the 2nd most-watched TED speak in historical past. The speak is titled, “Your Physique Shapes Who You Are”—undoubtedly price watching if you happen to haven’t already accomplished so.

Cuddy wrote this guide to assist individuals of all walks of life develop a robust sense of presence—a top quality that helps us:

  • Command respect and encourage others
  • Converse with poise and readability
  • Change into genuinely likable to others
  • Develop an inside sense of confidence that helps us be ok with ourselves and make progress in our lives

We’ll speak extra about how presence helps us lean into the aforementioned qualities, together with a lot, way more within the Large Concepts we’ll be sharing on this guide abstract.

So, are you able to dive in? Let’s begin with some essential quotes from Presence earlier than we dive into the Large Concepts…

Essential Quotes

“Presence, as I imply it all through these pages, is the state of being attuned to and in a position to comfortably specific our true ideas, emotions, values, and potential.” —From Presence by Amy Cuddy

“focus much less on the impression you’re making on others and extra on the impression you’re making on your self.”From Presence by Amy Cuddy

“The strongest predictors of the entrepreneurs who acquired the cash from enterprise capitalists have been these traits: confidence, consolation stage, and passionate enthusiasm. Those that succeeded didn’t spend their treasured moments within the highlight worrying about how they have been doing or what others considered them.” —From Presence by Amy Cuddy


BIG IDEAS

  1. What is Presence?
  2. Self-affirmation principle
  3. Use “priming” to strengthen your private energy
  4. Be aware of the way in which you carry your self
  5. Increase your energy by increasing your physique
  6. Small gadgets can result in small presence
  7. Get excited!
  8. Pretend it till you grow to be it

1. What is Presence?

“Presence, as I imply it all through these pages, is the state of being attuned to and in a position to comfortably specific our true ideas, emotions, values, and potential.” —Amy Cuddy, Presence

Right here’s the factor about presence: it comes and it goes. It’s a moment-to-moment sort of expertise that’s not everlasting in nature.

In different phrases: there’s a ton of items to the puzzle on the subject of growing presence.

So the query is, how does presence emerge?—what are the items to the puzzle?

As Cuddy tells us:

“Presence emerges once we really feel personally highly effective, which permits us to be acutely attuned to our most honest selves. On this psychological state, we’re in a position to preserve presence even within the very annoying conditions that usually make us really feel distracted and powerless. Once we really feel current, our speech, facial expressions, postures, and actions align. They synchronize and focus. And that inside convergence, that concord, is palpable and resonant—as a result of it’s actual. It’s what makes us compelling. We’re now not preventing ourselves; we’re being ourselves. Our seek for presence isn’t about discovering charisma or extraversion or fastidiously managing the impression we’re making on different individuals. It’s in regards to the sincere, highly effective connection that we create internally, with ourselves.” —From Presence by Amy Cuddy

In brief: presence comes from inside.

Our presence emerges once we develop our private energy, and start believing in and trusting ourselves. Presence emerges once we carry out probably the most genuine model of ourselves—once we “present up” in congruence with our truest emotions, values, and skills.

Presence is a lovely factor.

However it may be tough to name upon once we want it most.

And that’s why we should grasp our capacity to grow to be as current as attainable, as usually as attainable. Which is what this guide abstract is devoted to serving to us do.

2. Self-affirmation principle

“The form of self-affirmation I’m speaking about—the type whose results researchers have studied—doesn’t have something to do with reciting generic one-liners within the mirror, nor does it contain boasting or self-aggrandizement.

As a substitute it’s about reminding ourselves what issues most to us and, by extension, who we’re.

In impact, it’s a approach of grounding ourselves within the fact of our personal tales. It makes us really feel much less depending on the approval of others and much more comfy with their disapproval, if that’s what we get.” —Amy Cuddy, Presence

Think about if you happen to walked into work tomorrow morning, and your boss requested you to provide a extremely annoying presentation to crucial individuals within the firm—and also you’ve acquired no time to arrange, so it’ll need to be on the fly… Oh, and this presentation you’re giving? It’ll make you or break you within the eyes of higher administration.

Tremendous annoying, isn’t it?

Should you’re like most individuals, a state of affairs just like the one we simply talked about is greater than sufficient to completely stress you out—which leads to a spike of a stress hormone referred to as cortisol surging by means of your physique.

Because it seems, researchers have really simulated comparable situations to the one we simply described—and so they’ve found out a captivating coping mechanism to assist us cope with a lot of these anxiety-inducing conditions… Wanna know what it’s?

The researchers uncovered, that when of us are positioned in annoying conditions, their cortisol spikes dramatically, nevertheless, in the event that they first take into consideration a significant core worth that’s necessary to them, and write down an outline of why it’s necessary to them, they’ll climate the storm (of a annoying scenario) with out the standard dramatic spikes in cortisol.

That is large!

This, pricey buddy, is the ability of Self-affirmation Idea. Once we’ve recognized our values, and stay to true to them as usually as attainable, we really grow to be extra current and extra highly effective.

Actionable perception:

What are your core values? As Cuddy suggests, we will uncover them by asking ourselves the next query:

“What 3 phrases finest describe me?”

Take a couple of minutes (or extra) to mirror upon that query, after which go forward and write down your response within the house offered beneath, or elsewhere.

  1. _________________
  2. _________________
  3. _________________

Subsequent, ask your self this:

“Which one of many 3 phrases I wrote down is most important to who I’m?”

Now, write down why it’s necessary to you, together with a selected instance/time in your life through which you really behaved in a approach that embodies this specific worth.

  • __________________________________________________________

3. Use “priming” to strengthen your private energy

“Recall a second once you felt personally highly effective. A time once you felt totally answerable for your personal psychological state—once you had the boldness to behave primarily based in your boldest, most honest self, with the sense that your actions could be efficient. Perhaps it was at work, at college, at dwelling, or in another a part of your life. Take a couple of minutes proper now to recollect and mirror on that have of your private energy, on the way it felt.

It felt good, proper? Whether or not you understand it or not, you’ve simply been primed. Because of that little train, your psychological state was, and certain nonetheless is, infused with emotions of confidence and power. I may simply have simply requested you to recollect a time once you felt powerless and stress-ridden, however after all I don’t wish to carry you down. Had you accomplished that, nevertheless, it, too, would have modified your psychological state, a minimum of briefly—for the more severe. That sad sensation of being at somebody’s mercy would have come flooding again into the hidden recesses of your mind.” —From Presence by Amy Cuddy

A lot of what we do, or don’t do, relies upon upon how we really feel.

If we really feel highly effective, we lean into life’s huge challenges.

Once we really feel powerless, we lean away from life’s huge challenges.

And on the subject of growing our presence, energy is the whole lot.

Right here’s an attention-grabbing little tidbit for yah: analysis has proven that others can prime us to really feel—after which carry out—both extra highly effective or much less highly effective; inside a matter of seconds.

How? By exposing us to an empowering or disempowering language sample. Or by having us recall an empowering or disempowering expertise from our previous. A lot of this may be accomplished by means of using emotionally-charged language.

Right here’s an instance of an experiment to assist put this concept into perspective:

  • 10 individuals of the identical actual socioeconomic standing volunteer for an experiment.
  • They’re cut up into two teams (Group A, Group B)
  • Members of Group A are given the position of “boss”
  • Members of Group B are given the position of “worker”

Different experimental examples may contain exposing two completely different teams of individuals with fast flashes of empowering phrases (ex: profitable, authority) vs. disempowering phrases (ex: obey, comply with) — after which observing the behaviors that comply with with every publicity…

Should you have been to conduct an experiment like this, you’d observe a startling similarity between language and habits (ex: publicity to highly effective language ends in highly effective habits)

Backside line? With a view to carry out at your peak on a constant foundation, you’ve gotta be primed for energy.

In only a second, we’ll focus on how you are able to do this, however first, it’s necessary to level one thing out: whether or not you understand it or not, you’re already priming your self all day lengthy.

The issue for most individuals although, is that they both:

  • (a) don’t know they’re priming themselves, or
  • (b) aren’t priming themselves for energy as usually as they’ll (and are as an alternative—consciously or sub-consciously—priming themselves for powerlessness).

Right here’s the excellent news: any certainly one of us can grow to be higher at priming ourselves by creating and utilizing little “nudges” that set off highly effective emotions—which in flip assist us grow to be and behave extra powerfully, each bodily and mentally.

As Cuddy places it within the guide:

“That’s the way it works. In every difficult scenario, we nudge ourselves: we encourage ourselves to really feel somewhat extra brave, to behave a bit extra boldly, to step exterior the partitions of our personal worry, anxiousness and powerlessness. To be a bit extra current. And incrementally, over time, we find yourself the place we wish to be… even when we couldn’t have stated the place that was once we began.”

Actionable perception:

  • With a view to prime a strong mindset, it’s necessary to remind your self of all of the instances you’ve felt and carried out in a strong approach previously. Most individuals do the alternative of this—they prime themselves for powerlessness by reminding themselves of all of the instances they carried out with powerlessness previously.
  • With a view to domesticate extra energy, focus in your values and make sure that you recall + mirror upon your best moments of non-public energy from the previous with the intention to create extra moments of non-public energy now and within the future.

4. Be aware of the way in which you carry your self

“The way in which you carry your self is a supply of non-public energy—the form of energy that’s the key to presence. It’s the important thing that lets you unlock your self— your talents, your creativity, your braveness, and even your generosity. It doesn’t offer you abilities or skills you don’t have; it lets you share those you do have. It doesn’t make you smarter or higher knowledgeable; it makes you extra resilient and open. It doesn’t change who you’re; it lets you be who you’re.” —Amy Cuddy, Presence

Highly effective stuff, don’t yah suppose?

The way in which we feature ourselves is a core part of non-public energy, which is the important thing to presence.

The very first thing to grow to be conscious of is the easy incontrovertible fact that the way in which you stand, sit, stroll, speak or gesture your palms performs a component in your capacity to unlock your personal distinctive—and highly effective—sense of presence.

As soon as we perceive that the way in which we feature ourselves performs a HUGE position, the subsequent factor we have to be taught is tips on how to carry ourselves in a approach that helps us develop our energy—which is what we’ll be discussing within the subsequent huge concept…

5. Increase your energy by increasing your physique

“As scientists, the very first thing we would have liked was a transparent speculation. This was our pondering: if nonverbal expressions of energy are so hardwired that we instinctively throw our arms up in a V once we win a race—no matter cultural background, gender, or whether or not we’ve seen anybody else do it—and if William James was proper that our feelings are as a lot a consequence as they’re a explanation for our bodily expressions, then what would occur if we undertake expansive postures even once we are feeling powerless? Since we naturally develop our our bodies once we really feel highly effective, can we additionally naturally really feel highly effective once we develop our our bodies?” —Amy Cuddy, Presence

Reply: YES!

Since we naturally develop our our bodies once we really feel highly effective, we do certainly additionally naturally really feel highly effective once we develop our our bodies.

That is certainly one of many profound insights Cuddy presents about how we will use our physiology (our our bodies) to extend our energy and presence…

There appears to be what researchers check with as a “bidirectional” relationship between feeling and habits:

  • once you really feel highly effective, you develop your physique, and
  • once you develop your physique, you really feel highly effective.

Backside line? Increasing your physique language, or carrying your self in a extra expansive approach can really make you really feel extra highly effective. (Wow!)

This perception isn’t simply principle both.

It’s been examined and confirmed…


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sagaciousthoughts
sagaciousthoughtshttps://sagaciousthoughts.com
I am Christian Nnakuzierem Alozie (Kris Kuzie Alozie). A native of Eziama Nneato in Umunneochi LGA, Abia State, Nigeria. I am an inspirational writer and a motivational speaker. And above all, a lover of charity.

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